I felt the Holy Spirit today.

It's Thursday, and when I can get out of the office I try to get to Saint Stephens for the noon service. It's a chance to break out of daily life and step into what I think it was Mircea Eliade described as sacred time.

I'm not good at leading a holy life and I do not often feel sacred impulses in my life - one of the reasons that I like to go to church is that it helps guide me into thinking about God, praying and trying to live life better. As an adolescent I did have one or two encounters where I thought I felt the power of God and I am sure that that is one of the reasons that I have kept my faith. But honestly I think I worship more with my mind than with my heart - they are both a part of me as God made me and for whatever reason that is how I am.

Nevertheless, there I was doing the singing and praying thing and I felt the Holy Spirit. It brought a feeling of relief, and being loved, and fulfillment. It brought tears to my eyes, and I had to make sure no-one noticed because, you know, you can't get all emotional in a church, it just wouldn't be right.

Today's service wasn't special in too many ways - the homily was interesting but I went off on a tangent, thinking about the phrase "God loved you before you were born" and missed some of the point. The singing was sweet to my ears as always and Communion spiritual food, but no more so than usual. But when I returned to my seat, there it was.

I realized, or possibly remembered, two things today. First, that no matter how overwhelmed, how awed and filled with love I felt, it was only the tiniest part of the power and love of God. The second thing came to me when I wondered why I felt it today. However obvious it might be to others, it came as a revelation to me that the grace and the power are always there, always waiting, and that I just need to be able to receive them. I'm not very good at it, but I'm grateful that I can do it at all.